Of Ariel and Sebastian

(Originally Posted 2/2/15 on antiquedflorals)

I used to have a crush on Sebastian the crab.

Yes, yes, it's true. It was during those formative days of my youth when crushes don't bare the connotation of realistic romantic inclinations, but rather are early indicators of personality type. Even early on, personality traits are emerging and when crushes, and friendships, come into play it's usually a form of self-discovery, usually on a subconscious level.

The duration of my uber crush on Sebastian was the few years while The Little Mermaid animated series aired. Looking back, I'm not really sure what it was about Sebastian in the series that clicked with me. I understand why his character does/did in the film so perhaps it started with the film and just carried over to the series since I didn't see the character development discrepancies at the time. But if I had to venture a guess, I'm going to just assume it all has to do with his being hardboiled with a silly and surprisingly gentle nature underneath. One of Sebastian's lines in If Only from the Broadway adaptation sums it up really well for how I always imagined Sebastian. After singing about how he would make things right for Ariel if he could, he later sings "I'd give my life up to make it happen." And that line has always gelled with my childhood vision of Sebastian - a character who is actually quite heroic, caring, wise, selfless, etc. when it comes down to it (even if he missteps along the way). This kind of thing can be seen in other crushes I had at the time such as Uncle Jesse of Full House or Basil from The Great Mouse Detective just to name a few. Also, most of my crushes always had a good deal of ego and Sebastian definitely has some ego issues. 

At the time of my crush, I knew that it was odd. Heck, it took me ages to admit that it had ever been a thing, as I was trying to explain the many reasons why Sebastian is still tied with Ariel as my favorite Disney character period. I knew well enough that he was an animated crab and that "normal" girls my age should be crushing on Prince Eric (to be fair, I loved him too in the same, nominal, dreamy, prince kind of way those other girls did). Because of this, I have a feeling I started projecting...

Which comes to the next point, Ariel/Sebastian will always be an honorary OTP of mine. Yes, Ariel and Sebastian. In spite of all of the weirdness, perhaps even wrongness, of it, I shipped it as a little girl during the same time I was crushing on Sebastian and then even later after the crush subsided to a "he's just a favorite character" healthiness (well, if moderate fangirl obsession is healthy I suppose). 

The thing is, I'm pretty sure it started because I was projecting myself as Ariel seeing as she was my favorite character, so naturally I saw their really close companionship as, well, also a crush. I saw Ariel as having a crush on Sebastian and, in my childish simplicity, Sebastian as also having feelings for Ariel, but being too hardboiled for it to be obvious. (The fact that he was an adult character obviously had no bearing on my childish mind because, let's be real, kids don't always understand age disparity or appropriateness on a complex level when it's in this innocent form; think of a girl who has a crush on a teenage/adult celebrity and truly believes they can grow up and marry them as if age is not an issue.) I spent many play times and nights lying in bed making up stories in my head (let's call it the precursor to fanfiction writing lol) all with story lines that typically involved something happening to Ariel (especially getting sick) and Sebastian realizing the extent of his love for her and then his needing to go to great lengths to save her. To be fair, I had some storylines where Ariel saved Sebastian too! 

Ironically though, these storylines didn't always end up in them somehow being together romantically (e.g. married). Sometimes it really was just a pure kind of platonic love in which Sebastian realized he loved her and so acted like it. Towards the end of this period of my life, I even started creating oc females (Mary-Sues of myself probably, but I'm not sure) for Sebastian to be with because I knew that Ariel would always have Eric instead and so it was best for Sebastian to have someone else instead too. Psychologically, I'm assuming this was due to the formation/warring of personal morality issues - that is, I  wanted Ariel to be with Sebastian, but the notion that it would be going against "happily ever after" or divine destiny seemed inherently wrong. Mixed in there is probably my inability to "break the rules" of the predestined, set-in-stone plot. At 8, the idea of an AU would have been implausible and just plain wrong; it made no sense in the order of things. Any crushes between Ariel and Sebastian would ALWAYS have to give way to the inevitable: Ariel and Eric have to be together.

The reason why I'm talking about all of this is twofold. 

On the one hand, I was giving a lot of thought to the psychological complexity of childhood imagination - especially how vivid mine was. I was thinking about my play times and all of the ways they actually were glimpses into how I was developing my ideas of the world, of myself, and so on. For example, adoption was a huge storyline I always used in make believe, in storytelling, etc. (I used to even wish someone would abandon a kid on our doorstep yikes). So it's really no surprise that as an adult my fervor to be an adoptive mother has only increased; it was merely an idea that struck an early chord with me and something I was developing a passion for early on.

On the other hand, Valentine's Day is coming up and it's a time I typically think a lot about all of my favorite fictional pairings (one of the adverse effects of being single?). And a few days ago I was giving A LOT of thought to those pairings in my childhood that were the strangest and which, if I'm being honest, I still ship. And, quite frankly, Ariel/Sebastian will always be the one I consider strangest and the one which will probably hold on the longest. Even if I can now appreciate the strictly platonic nature of their relationship, and trust me I really do, I now also can appreciate the romantic possibility on a more complex level. Now that I'm an adult, I can see the age gap, I understand how AUs work and even like them, I understand the characters better, and so, so, so much more. All of these things make for a more satisfying ship because I can simultaneously enjoy their relationship as it is while also playing around with the other dynamics when the mood strikes me. 

Do I still crush on Sebastian? I don't think the answer is yes, but I could be fooling myself. I do still adore his personality and could possibly fall for a guy with a similar one because of type. I am still obsessed with him as a character and wish I had someone to be the Sebastian to my Ariel, in the platonic sense (unless it moved beyond that for both of us obviously). And I do plan on naming a son Sebastian because I've fallen in love with the name over the years (unless I marry a Sebastian first which would certainly be even more ideal, if I'm being honest). 

So, ok, maybe I do still have a twinge of a character-crush on Sebastian. And, as I said, I do certainly still, in some cracky way, ship Ariel and Sebastian romantically. But that's just how it goes, I guess. Things that take root in the formative years don't always go away if they were powerful enough - and my love for both character and ship was pretty powerful. Alas, it of course also adds to just how truly odd I am as a human being. (Of course Disney doesn't make it easy to quit either ship or crush haha!)

P.S ARIEL IS SO

BEAUTIFUL & PERFECT I 

MIGHT CRY

DreamWork' Home Is Where The Heart Is

This contains heavy spoilers for DreamWorks' Home. 

I had the pleasure of seeing Home last weekend and have been gathering up all my thoughts waiting for the official release to spew them. This movie was such a critical movie for DreamWorks as well as animation. Not only has DreamWorks Animation been under hard times, the thought of the first CG animated film with a black girl as the female lead flopping would be depressing to say the least. It would tell animation studios that, sadly like with The Princess and the Frog, the audience just isn't there so representation can wait.

But the fact is, representation of all skin colors and cultures in family media (as well as everywhere obviously) is important because it teaches those kids who share color or culture with the character(s) to view themselves as beautiful, special, and worthy of being in the spotlight as well as teaches children of differing colors and cultures to see others as beautiful, special, and worthy of being in the spotlight. I believe representation can lead to appreciation rather than appropriation over time and I believe that media targeted at younger demographics should, whenever possible, be used as a way to highlight how we as people can have very clear differences such as color and culture, but also very clear similarities such as our basic human needs.

I say all of this with the caveat that I'm a very white girl, who doesn't understand the struggle to be a person of color so please don't think that I could ever speak for one - in fact go read this wonderful review that outlines why it's so important from the pov of a darling with beautiful, brown skin ♥ 

Given what this film's success could mean for the future, I'm pleased that the film has opened to a good box office. I'm less pleased by negative reviews that still don't seem to understand beyond a subjective level.

Is this film perfect? No. The first act of the film has some very serious pacing issues (it almost seems as though the beginning was reworked a few times to find the best way to get to the heart of the story). The story isn't the most profound in the world, but neither was Frozen's (which actually has a very similar theme, which will be the thing mostly touched on in this review), but thou shalt not critically analyze Frozen unless you are a 45+ year old male with no daughters or granddaughters. Were the Lilo & Stich comparisons inevitable? Well, yes, I think so. On the surface, it is about a girl, in a fractured setting complete with mean peers, that teaches a fugitive alien the value of meaningful relationships and then they save each other. But on the surface level you can replace girl and alien with just about any other character type and gender and arrive at the same story end. For one quick example, How To Train Your Dragon (since Chris Sanders helmed both) is about a misunderstood boy, in a fractured setting complete with mean peers, that teaches an unlikely friend the value of meaningful relationships and then they save each other. So, let's not pretend that male alien + human girl is a market cornered by Lilo & Stitch with no room for or value in expansion on the use of these motifs. Especially since the comparison would have likely flown over people's heads if Tip had been the same exact character only male (it would have likely been compared to E.T. but with less cynical bite). 

Tip

In spite of negative comments about how Tip is a bland teen girl horribly voice-acted by Rihanna, I see a beautiful girl who was spared the fate of everyone else on Earth (thanks to her beautiful cat - give me a moment) and is now forced to use all of the 7th grade cunning she can conjure to not only survive, but also try to figure out how to find her mom, Lucy, if she can. She's the feisty female character you expect from today's films geared, in part, towards girls, but they made sure not to make that all there is about her. One of the most poignant scenes is when Tip thinks Oh has drowned and she sits alone on her car hood over the middle of the ocean, very distressed. The imagery is very clear. She is just one small girl by herself in a vast sea of loneliness. When Oh returns, all of her "sad-mad" (which, wow, that's such a simple, but powerful term for kids who struggle with this feeling!) finally boils to the surface. We see that underneath the kick-butt attitude girls are expected to have to be strong, there's a vulnerable child. She's underage and she knows it. She's a kid and she doesn't want to be alone! She shouldn't have to be! Even though Oh wasn't even really her friend yet at this point and partly to blame for her predicament, as a Boov, even the thought of losing his companionship and what his presence represents (in helping her get her mother back) was enough to make this mostly static character show that it's ok for kids, and girls, alike to feel a little hopeless and in need of protection sometimes. It's not a bad thing! That said, she is mostly a static character and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The story this film is telling requires that one of them already have the heroic moral compass by which the other is guided. They chose Tip to be that wonderfully spirited character who is so amazing (not boring!) that it brings about the salvation of the whole planet.

Oh

In spite of negative comments about how Oh is annoying and used too much for humorous antics all while Jim Parsons' talent is wasted, I see an endearingly confused and accident-proned character who longs for companionship, but lives in a society where that is not the norm, and is forced outside his small understanding of humanity. Unlike Tip, Oh is the non-static character. He doesn't understand humanity so he's the perfect vessel to show growth by. He's the one who takes the hero's journey, but only because he's guided by someone who already has the hero's heart beating inside her. I find his coming to grips with manners, emotions, etc. timelessly endearing. Even though he isn't the child in this narrative (although we don't know his mental age in Boov years), he has the childlike innocence that makes him perfectly relatable for the youngest moviegoers who may be just as confused about what Tip is going through. I also find the way he comes to adore Tip endearing because, think about it: if kids (or on a level of feminism, boys) connect more with Oh then they'll hopefully still have reason to connect with Tip and see her in the same positive light that Oh does. It's a potential win-win for our maligned heroine.

But now we come to the creme-de-la-crem that made me fall hard for this whimsical little movie that could. At the heart of this story is Tip and Oh as a team. Yes, Tip is fabulous and could have carried the movie by herself, with Oh downgraded to sidekick level, had that been the intention. Oh, as endearing as he is, couldn't carry the entire film by himself as he was written which is why it's good that he's a co-lead. What really moves this film along is their interaction and friendship.

One of the things that I love about their friendship is how genuine it feels. It's very obviously an instant connection. They connect because in spite of her outward appearance and quick mind, Tip needs a guiding force in her life again while her mom is away - she needs intelligent conversation, someone to have her back, something more than her cat (who I love just the same because I'm a cat person who loves seeing them represented in film in a good way as Pig is; dogs shouldn't get all the glory). They connect because in spite of the Boov way of life, Oh has somehow managed to transcend their low key hive mind tendencies and emotional disconnect just enough to be pliable - he needs intelligent conversation, someone to be the friend he desperately wants, something more than the hollow and homeless existence he's been living. They connect because they aren't all that different even if they're worlds apart. And throughout the film we see how they click just right. We see how Tip can challenge him to expand his outlook, that thing he's lacking in his life currently, and we see how he can protect her when she needs it most, that thing she's lacking in light of her mother's absence.

Hopefully I don't lose you here on this next part. But I believe the writers were clever in how they chose to present this friendship because it dances all around the implications of romance. That is, the songs used to underscore their relationship are romantic songs if listened to on their own. One particular song that stands out to me is Cannonball by Kiesza which plays during the turning point of Oh's feelings towards and understanding of Tip. The reason why I find it important that everything has just enough romantic connotation without ever going there in the film is twofold. (Although the Tip/Oh shippers will come, if they haven't already while I was writing this, mark my words.)

On the one hand, as a society we seem to have lost much of our ability to view friendship as strictly that and seem to need that underlying romantic friction (or else the misconception of there being underlying romantic friction) in order to sell something. If there is no chemistry, then it's boring to many of the people who will drive the overall longevity of a film (read: fandom). If there isn't that little something to pop off the screen or make them wonder about the relationship, then usually people simply won't talk about it, will make up unnecessary crossovers or so on. Essentially what I'm saying is for a bromance to work, there has to be just enough of the mance. By making this a bromance, they have possibly broadened the appeal of the film and that's important.

On the other hand, and more to the point, the whole driving force of this film is how Oh literally falls head over...tentacles?.. in love with Tip. He falls for this feisty girl - beautiful brown skin, strange music, hope and all. Just like Pixar's Brave played on the motif of true love by telling a story where a mother and daughter falling back in love with one another was deemed just as, if not more, important than the kind of love that leads to marriage, this movie is telling a story about how the deepest relationships have to have love or there is no point. Home is literally where the heart is. Without love, the place you live is just as non special as any other place - which we see underscored by the short fantasy that Oh has where he imagines Antartica as a great place to call home simply because he was loved by penguins. Oh finds his heart and, thus, finds a home at last.

This theme about love (similar to Frozen) is boldly underlined about ten times over by making Tip's driving force the deep love she and her mother share. It's vital that we see Tip constantly replaying her mother's video. It's crucial that we hear Tip gushing about how much she admires her mother. Tip choosing her mother over her new friend even if it clearly hurts her to do so on a more shallow level is so very important. Tip is teaching Oh about more than just what it means to have a home or a family. Tip is teaching Oh, and his learning this lesson is meant to teach the audience, that emotions hurt and are strange -something we see so cleverly portrayed when Oh is running his gamut of colors in confusion- but loving others so deeply it can hurt and fighting for that love is worth it.

Oh first thinks that by saving Tip he is expressing his newfound love for her and he is, but it's a more shallow, chivalric love that is partially guided by his selfishness. He doesn't want to lose her. And there's nothing wrong with that because it's growth on his part, but because he's never made a connection with Lucy and because he's ignoring the more potent love Tip already has for her, that thing that makes up part of who she is as a person, he doesn't quite get it yet. Loving someone means putting yourself in danger if that's what it takes - even when you don't understand. At that point, Tip doesn't care if she dies with her mom so long as she gets to her whereas Oh is still too motivated by fear and lack of understanding that he can't fathom dying with Tip just because of somebody SHE loves. And that's what makes the dramatic climax extremely heartfelt in my opinion.

Without the build up, without driving that wedge between them temporarily, it would have been a cliche hero moment without much emotional weight when Oh chooses to die if that's what it takes. It's emotional because not only has he already once again done everything in his power to save Tip, and Lucy this time, only to have Tip outsmart him (which I love by the way), ultimately when his efforts are not enough he finally turns to Tip for her help in this thing that's bigger than him. But that doesn't mean he still won't follow through on his drive to save her at all costs, so he risks giving his all to save Tip, her mother, humanity, and the Boov once and for all.

It's in that moment that everything Tip has taught him comes pouring out and it's Earth-shatteringly beautiful. 

People can keep their negativity towards this film and its characters, especially Tip, if they really must have it. But I for one fell in love with this whimsical little film. Some of the gags may not have been sophisticated; some of the tropes may have been overused or even pandering. However, I simply cannot dismiss a film that so wonderfully spotlights diversity and gives us a character we desperately need while portraying her as multifaceted and inherently endowed with greatness that can change the world. I cannot dismiss a film that gives us an escape into a fantasy with two characters that, in my opinion, truly do sparkle on screen together in spite of what others might think to the contrary. It's not the weightiest film in the world if you look through a lens of adult cynicism, but if you pay attention, the film is still being profoundly deep all the more so because it reaches a level of simplistic deepness that has the power to affect children (I didn't touch on it, but ironically, there's also a hidden gem in the film about how we need to chill out with all our confused ways and protect the future generation). I can only hope that this little film finds the long legs at the box office that it deserves. At the very least, I'm just so happy that it exists.

Cinderella: My Dear, Misunderstood, First Love

Walt Disney's Cinderella was my first. 

• It was my first Disney film and my first favorite film. 
• Cinderella, the character, was my first favorite character.
• The film caused the story of Cinderella to become my first favorite fairytale in general and thus I had to watch/read everything Cinderella-related.
• Because of this I fell in love with Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella starring Lesley Ann Warren and it became my first musical.
• It was my first real go-to-thing when playing make believe: I was ALWAYS Cinderella. I would beg to play with my grandmother's tea kettle. I even begged her to let me wash her kitchen floor with a rag. (Yes, children are impressionable goofballs. That can't be disputed.)
• One of the picture storybooks based on the film was also the first book I ever "read" and by that I mean, it was the first piece of literature I ever memorized by heart. I asked to have it read to me so often that I eventually got to the point I would "read" it out loud to myself instead. 
• Cinderella was the first Halloween costume I picked out for myself (you know, not those bunny and pumpkin costumes your parents pick out for you when you're a baby haha). 

I can safely say Cinderella was my first love and the very first formative fictional thing in my life. 

I literally can see the influence of Cinderella throughout my life and because of this, I will always have a hard time discussing it. My first instinct is to gush about how 1. I adore the Walt Disney film and 2. how much I will always be a sucker for other renditions of the classic fairytale. I have yet to get tired of the story.

And even though there have been other characters and stories that have come along to take the top spots as favorites, I will always without hesitation say that Cinderella simultaneously shares the position of honor in my heart that those things do because it/she was first and because the impact it has on me and emotion it creates in me has been so unwavering through the years. 

I began this post to gush about the 1950 Disney masterpiece that started my love affair. I wanted to talk about the characters, the art, the music, the aesthetic, the behind the scenes stuff, and more. But instead it turned into me tackling the criticisms often hurled at Cinderella, Prince Charming, and the general plot because that's something I'm passionate about combatting. You know, the criticisms that all three are problematic and horrible for impressionable girls. 

Cinderella 

There's a reason little girls should aspire to be the Cinderella of this film and it has nothing to do with the misconception that it teaches girls to accept abuse and marry a prince to escape said abuse. 

But, yes, the abuse is there, needs to be addressed, and is even more chilling than most casual fans typically recall or even acknowledge when critiquing the film. If you listen closely to the narration at the beginning of the film, it specifically says that Cinderella was not immediately made a servant in her own home. Instead it says the home first fell into disrepair and the money squandered on the stepsisters - implying that the servants were discharged and Cinderella left to see her beloved home fall apart (my pet headcanon is that she likely began trying to take care of it herself because of her love for her father's memory and this made it easier for her to be pushed into the role of servant). But what is most chilling is that the narration says Cinderella was "abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house." Think about it. That means she was abused and humiliated APART from and BEFORE becoming a servant. She was abused and humiliated in other ways than being forced to be a servant in her own home. We have no idea how long it took for the money to be squandered or how long she was abused/humiliated before becoming a servant. We don't know if this abuse was strictly emotional or also physical. We just don't know. 

So why exactly didn't she run? That's the question everyone asks. "You're teaching girls to be weak! You're teaching them not to stand up for themselves and their agency. You're teaching them if they can just be perfect enough, someone will save them eventually!" Yeah on a pedestrian level, it can be problematic through a modern lens. But fairytales aren't supposed to be viewed through a modern lens or accepted as gospel guides to life. They're supposed to show us the cruelty, the frailty of life. Walt Disney just happened to be an optimist who preferred the happy endings to be a little more rewarding. Instead of seeing Cinderella as a strong, independent woman living in 2015 we see a character in a society where a woman's power is defined by her pomp and wealth and it's up to her to achieve it by one means or another. Cinderella is the victim of abuse in a society where abuse can't possibly be understood the way we understand it now (and even now so many poor children, women, and men are abused and also don't run because of one psychological justification or another that makes them stay). 

Note: To support this, and later arguments regarding societal expectations/power structure, the opening narration even states that the kingdom is rich in Romance and Tradition. Meaning, there are outside forces at work here. 

What I love about Cinderella, and what we should be teaching our young girls from the get go when they fall in love with Cinderella (instead of assuming they don't have the critical skills to understand) is how Cinderella takes the power scheme and flips it on its head. 

We see a contrast between Lady Tremaine, and by extension her daughters, and Cinderella. 

Lady Tremaine works within the limited power constraints allowed her by society, the ones I mentioned earlier, as do her daughters. Lady Tremaine clearly believes, or at least it's easily implied, that the only way she can be a successful woman is through money and marriage. She had one husband before, but he died. She had to deceive in order to catch herself another man for provision. Conveniently he dies too and that's okay so long as she still has his fortune to squander on vanity. But then the money starts to run out. What's to be done? What we see in the context of the film is that she turns her stepdaughter into convenient, free service and then fixes her sights on having one of her daughters catch a prince. 

On the flipside of this, Cinderella courageously accepts her lowered status in life (as sad as that may seem to some). While we don't know if she was threatened to be kicked out/sold if she didn't work as a servant, we do know that she works in exchange for a place to live and food to eat. That means she's got a different kind of hustle than Lady Tremaine. She could try to run out and find another way of living, maybe through a loveless marriage, but she doesn't. She works and maintains her integrity while doing so. She uses her brain, her willpower, her ingenuity, hard work, etc. to survive. Through it all, she remains kind and dreamy, not abandoning her values, but at the same time people tend to overlook her low-key sass and spunk. She has a curt tongue when she feels like it! 

People hate on this dress, but I can't because it was her
mother's and made for her by those who love her.

From a feminist standpoint, Lady Tremaine exercises power through internalized misogyny - relying on money from marriage and lording over another woman who she views as a threat. Whereas, Cinderella exercises power over herself and her circumstances, and has a confidence in herself that keeps her from feeling threatened by others the majority of the time (e.g. she couldn't care less that Lady Tremaine has tried to keep her from revealing herself to the Duke; once she's free she runs right down those stairs and does her thing even if there could be consequences!)

Another key moment of her development comes when she finally does give up on her dreams - the scene where she runs with tattered dress to the garden. Do you know why this is so important and how discouraging it is that so many people just don't get it???? It's important because this is the first time ON SCREEN we see Cinderella physically abused and denied her human rights. When Cinderella stood up to Lady Tremaine about the invitation, she was fighting for agency and for her right to go to the ball. She was telling Lady Tremaine in other words, "How dare you try to deny something that the government has given me access to." That's weakness? Thus, when she thinks she is able to go (thanks to her animal friends who, by the way, wouldn't have been around to even help her if she hadn't helped them first, so it's not like Cinderella didn't help herself at all in that situation) only to have her right viciously ripped from her, that's when the abuse is too much. Working as a servant she had integrity, determination, and hope. Having a right given to her and then taken away is the straw that breaks the camel's back. That means, underlying all this is a subtle feminist message - the message that THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY. Being treated like that or treating someone like that is the quickest way to a broken spirit. 

That's why I don't understand why people want to criticize Cinderella for being weak. Her weakness was wanting to keep her head up in the face of adversity? Her weakness was wanting not to treat others the way she was constantly treated, as we see revealed in her kindness to animals? If that is weakness then the unfortunate implication is that Lady Tremaine, who went out there and hustled to get ahead in life, taking no heed for anyone but herself and her daughters, is the strong one. And if that kind of cruelty is viewed as strength, well, then is it any wonder how messy society is these days? 

If Cinderella's compassion is weakness, then I'll gladly go on following her example. But the truth is, she wasn't weak. 

Prince Charming

What about the prince? Isn't he just shallow? Doesn't he just fall for Cinderella because she's gorgeous? Trophy wife, yeah? 

I would like to personally watch the movie with each person who thinks this and do a play-by-play of the scenes where the King and Duke are talking. Because, just like Cinderella, Charming is trapped in a society with expectations and trying to resist them rather than conform. The King expects him to settle down with the first woman who is good enough and who will make a suitable mother. The King is acting patriarchal and trying to shove those rules of patriarchy onto his son. He scoffs at the idea of true love, implying it's really just lust anyhow ("the right conditions") and he insists that it's his son's duty to get married and get cracking at making grandbabies for him before he dies. He has no consideration whatsoever for the woman. 

10,000% DONE. Thinking about jumping out the window tbh.

But none of this is Charming's idea. He wants love. He's not about to settle into a loveless marriage just for the sake of what's expected of him. We don't know what else is in Charming's history, but we do know that he's simply not interested in any of the women parading in front of him at the palace. He's bored of the pageantry/fakeness of it all and knows exactly what his father is up to and still resisting. 

Cinderella catches his eye because she's different. Is there lust and chemicals and lightning striking and all that jazz? Of course. It's called romance for a reason. All of a sudden it's as if maybe, just maybe, he was wrong and a woman worth being interested in has shown up after all. So what does he do? He doesn't make her play the silly game of parading herself like all the others. He goes to her, shows that he's interested, and she accepts his invitation to dance. Then, after all the ringing bells, they spend time alone, away from the pageantry. It's presented as a musical montage, but it's important to note that it's a duet signifying that both are attracted to one another and in realization that this is something special. Again, this is the part where it's supposed to be romantic so suspension of belief is always going to be necessary. Since we know they weren't really singing, then you could just as easily fill this montage space with them talking about themselves, their hopes, their views on life, etc. (You know, the thing that modern adaptations of the fairytale rightly try to expand upon.) People who don't understand this, probably lack critical analyzation skills and have to have things spelled out letter by letter to comprehend what's going on. 

Is Charming above criticism? Nope. Not at all. He should have gone looking for her instead of the Duke. And that's where the plot gets a little thin and we just can't know why. I mean, from a behind the scenes standpoint, the artists just didn't want to draw Charming all that much more and because sending the Duke by himself allows for comedy during an otherwise dramatic spanse of film. Additionally, it's convenient writing because I'm pretty sure Charming would have taken one look at both Anastasia and Drizella and known it wasn't either of them so there would have been no time for Cinderella to escape before he took his leave. Within the context of the film we're left to assume there were other things that prevented his going door to door himself - and the best bet would fall back on the King and the necessity to keep Charming safe, keep pompous appearances, etc. Sending an ambassador reeks of royal protocol. 

Other Criticisms?

The Fairy Godmother has to swoop in and save the day. 

Only, she really doesn't. She only manifests after Cinderella gives up. First, it implies that Cinderella didn't need help before that moment. She was strong and doing well on her own. What Fairy Godmother does for Cinderella when she does show up is help her help herself. She doesn't wave her wand and make the prince fall in love with her or magically make her life a million times better! She merely restores to her the basic right that was stolen from her: in this case, the right to go to a ball she was invited to, that she desperately wanted/deserved to go to, and that she would have gone to if not for injustice. 

Theres is nothing problematic about this because Cinderella's struggle in that moment is a real struggle that exists to this day. Sometimes people will try to deny you access to what you know is your right and, yes, sometimes you will need help. Sometimes a miracle or somebody else coming along and caring about your struggle and helping you pick yourself  back up and encouraging you to go try again is what it takes to succeed. 

It's up to Cinderella after that point to decide what to do with this help. She goes to the ball and all on her own manages to have a good time and fall in love.

Okay, but she still has to fall in love and get married to escape. 

It's still a story about true love conquering all, so obviously she falls in love. And there's nothing wrong with that. People fall in love every day. Stop trying to shame romantic types just because we have reached a point in history where we also value independence and non-romantic relationships. Cinderella could have gone to the ball, become best friends with the prince, told him about her situation, and he could have stepped in, no strings attached. Yes, that would have been just as great and valid. If you want that story, then write it and get it out there! I mean it! It deserves to be told too!

But in the context of this movie, it really goes back to flipping societal expectations on their heads while still working in the confines of said society. Cinderella's father (Lord Tremaine?) thinks it's best and proper to give Cinderella a mother so remarries for the sake of doing so. Lady Tremaine's previous husband is dead, possibly implying she needs another husband for provision, and so she marries for the sake of it. Lady Tremaine expects her daughters to marry well. The King expects his son to marry period. It's all loveless and hollow. 

Cinderella doesn't care about going to the ball to land the prince and better her position/broker her freedom and spends the whole night enjoying herself and falling in love with a man she doesn't even realize is the prince. Charming doesn't care about finding a wife and mother for his future children and ends up finding one anyhow. Both achieve what they set out to do: 1. go to the ball and enjoy herself as she has a right to 2. find love in a natural way when the time is right and not just because it's expected of him. But then destiny steps in and they end up getting each other as their token prizes in addition!

If anything, the moral here is that fighting for your right to exist outside of societal expectations can lead to more meaningful relationships. In this case, Cinderella and Charming get to have love that the others don't. If it gets Cinderella out of her poor living conditions and near someone who will cherish her for what she's worth, then that's just a bonus and not something she was even worried about. And let's not discount the fact that Charming doesn't seem appalled that he fell in love with a servant girl, the lowest of the low in his kingdom. People need to stop assuming that it's automatically problematic that the person who chose to cherish and love Cinderella for what she is worth turned out to be a prince and not some pauper down the street (it would be ridiculous to assume that no man in the area knew about her situation after all). Of course, Cinderella falling in love with a pauper would have been fine too, and obviously more realistic, and I would root for it just as much to be quite honest if they were right for each other. 

Even if people never accept my position that the prince is a misunderstood guy who genuinely falls heads over heels for Cinderella as a person or even if they're never okay with the romantic storyline, I will always fight to make people understand that in spite of all these things Cinderella, as a character, is still strong. To tell me she isn't, to tell me she is weak, will always be something I take personally. Walt Disney created a breathtakingly gorgeous film about a breathtakingly wonderful character that has impacted me too deeply to ever take those kinds of statements lying down.